Ya No

Cuando miro al cielo
la luna brilla
pero no estoy seguro
si brilla para mi 
no como antes
la energía es diferente

ya no me siento digno

me siento como una sombra

en presencia de la luz

solía estar entre las estrellas

qué pasó
tal vez el universo
ha perdido la fe en mi
después de todos estos años

quizás estaba equivocado

y ya no soy su favorito

he visto lo que traen 

las nubes oscuras 

he sobrevivido a sus tormentas

cada gota de lluvia

era un recuerdo de mi pasado

tantas lágrimas

casi me ahogo 

pero ya no lloro

no como antes

si la luna no me brilla

puedo esperar hasta mañana

cuando sale el sol

© 2021

Narrative

I was so terrified of you

when we first met

but I couldn't look away

you had my attention

I never knew someone 

like you even existed

but there you were

I learned very quickly  

that when you speak

people listen 

you don't care if 

anyone has anything

negative to say about you

because they wouldn't dare

say it to you directly

knowing what would happen

but it doesn't matter

you trust very few people

for that very reason 

and I don't know

how I became trustworthy

but I'm grateful for you

even though there are days

when you hate it here

I love you for every single 

one of those days 

that you keep fighting 

it's okay to feel weak at times

but here you are 

still writing your story

and I'm here for it all 

not just a couple of pages

© 2021

 

Gratitude

I remember being mocked

for trying to rebuild 

being made to feel bad

for trying to heal

only to end up feeling worse

than when I started 

running on autopilot 

ignoring the pain

how naïve I was to think 

that I was actually okay

but I never healed 

when my brother was killed

the only thing I built 

were walls to keep me away

from anyone claiming 

to be friends

or offering friendship

I didn't trust a soul

and I could no longer ignore 

everything I was feeling

that feels like a lifetime ago 

but sometimes I wonder 

if I'm still on autopilot 

never having fully healed 

watching every opportunity

slip away faster than the next

that feeling of failure

I do remember being mocked

but now there's no one around

except the ones who 

still believe in me

thank you for that

© 2021

I Would Say To Myself

Stay strong

love always

be your own hero

have the courage 

of your convictions

but know that you can

only help someone 

save themselves

purpose has a price

one you may be unable to pay

until you're ready

that's if you're ever ready

it's okay to need more time

and for once in your life

know that you are worthy

don't let anyone 

make you feel otherwise

people change every day 

that doesn't mean they grow

so when they change

make sure you grow

and keep going

it doesn't matter 

how many ghosted you 

or who wasn't there 

focus on the now 

whether you have friends 

and still feel alone 

or you're on your own

you still have you

that will be enough

because it has to be 

© 2021

Reasons

Let's be honest

everyone's done it

I know I have 

both regrettably

and unapologetically      

so when it happens to me

no matter how much it hurts

I must not interfere

because I understand

that people have to do

what they feel is necessary 

for them to reach their goals

even if that means 

sacrificing a friendship

or distancing yourself

from those who you feel

do more harm than good

imagine someone like me

who loves helping others

being ghosted for reasons

I'll never even know

maybe I did something

didn't do something

or maybe it was just Karma

whatever the reasons are

I know time is limited

and it waits for no one

so just be ready to move on

no matter how much it hurts

because someone can

move on from you

let's be honest

everyone's done it

I know I have

© 2021

That's Why

He remembers her 

and that's why she's changed

from the way she styles her hair 

to the way she wears her smile 

nothing about her is the same 

except for the fact that 

she's a woman of many talents 

but she refuses to waste them

or her time ever again 

especially on someone like him

he's not the only one who remembers 

she remembers too

and that's why she's changed

the woman she was 

isn't the woman she wanted to be

at least not completely

but he'll never meet 

the woman she'll become

unless he becomes something else 

something greater

because she hasn't forgotten 

how she was treated 

when she felt like dying

and that's why she's changed 

not everyone feels

as amazing as they are

but she's working on

knowing that she is that amazing 

so he can have his memories

of how she used to be 

but letting the past die

is how she lives for today

© 2021

Part II

It's not easy though

being the face of a revolution

the things I see

on a daily basis

make me question

if this world is worth saving

and if I can help save it

from those who

look like me 

but look to destroy

rather than help rebuild

how long do I keep fighting

there's just so much stupidity 

so much willful ignorance 

maybe I should just

stay focused on 

my own personal growth 

in hopes of inspiring 

others to do the same

at least then it would

feel like there's hope

I shouldn't have expectations 

they only mean to disappoint

and I've been disappointed before

probably will be again

is that reason enough to quit

not after all I've been through

but I have those moments

when I look to the sky

hoping the energy of 

the universe still favors me

I really do hope so

because I need that 

more than ever

it's exhausting down here

humanity is exhausting

© 2021