Comfortable Being

I don't feel comfortable being myself
at least not like I was before
but I'm working on it
doesn't that say something about me
I recognize that I have doubts
that didn't exist
when I was sure of myself
and what my purpose in life was
I'm still sure of my purpose
but I don't feel comfortable being myself
that's not the worst part though
having to hear those around me
telling me how they miss who I was
or that they can help me
if I would just let them 
and when I respectively decline
they take it as a personal insult 
rather than supporting my need
to do this on my own
I don't feel comfortable being myself
and I'm pretty sure that effects me
more than it does anybody else
but I can't let words get to me anymore 
I'm already uncomfortable enough 

© 2018

Bombshell

Don't get the wrong idea
she may be beautiful 
dare I say sexy
but that doesn't give you the green light
she doesn't use sex as a weapon
like those who came before her
she doesn't even feel sexy
or beautiful half of the time
sure the compliments are nice to hear
but she knows you have to be more
than just another pretty face
in order to achieve your dreams
you have to be intelligent
ambitious to a fault
willing to take risks
and loving of yourself above all else
if you can look at her for one second
and see someone who works as
hard on their spirit
as they do to achieve their dreams
you would know that 
she's even more beautiful
than your eyes could ever show you
but you only see a hot blonde
so you label her using stereotypes
that misrepresent who she really is 
she's not your classic bombshell
and if all you see is a pretty face
pin this picture up on your wall
because you're still stuck in the past

© 2018

Retrograde Haiku

It's times like these when
you realize how important
self-care really is.

© 2018

Hermana

It's easy to say that I miss you

but if I were to see you today

would I even recognize you

maybe I just miss who you were

because whoever you are now

I've never met that person

please tell me I'm overreacting

tell me your light still shines

brighter than the darkest cloud
and that the old you still lives
I don't know how you feel
but I know what it's like
when being who you are
makes people uncomfortable
especially those you love the most
how can what they love about you
also be what they fear the most
you just want to be yourself again
at least I hope you do 
because I miss that person
I know you miss that person too
she didn't have everything figured out
but she was starting to figure out
how to be everything herself

© 2018

Hero's Welcome

Honorably discharged
and highly decorated 
you returned home
to a hero's welcome
only it doesn't feel like home
you barely recognize it
but no one talks about that
what about how you feel
since returning
all of the trauma
from the things you've seen
the things you've done
or the things that were done to you
but no one talks about that either
what's a hero's welcome
to someone who doesn't 
feel welcomed
someone who doesn't even
feel like they belong
amongst their peers
there's honor in being a hero
but not at the expense
of feeling less like a human being
in your own country

© 2018

L.O.V.E. Notes: Alone Time (Revisited)

Some time has gone by
and you're still here
that was your biggest fear
finding yourself
by yourself
then losing yourself
and fading away
proving the doubters right 
but that didn't happen today
it didn't happen yesterday
or the day before that
things are different now
even walking pass the place
you once sat alone
deep in thought
things are different now
remember what happens next
you're what happened
and it was everything
it was also just the beginning 

<3

© 2018