Vigil

Find the truth
believe me I've tried
but it seems that everywhere I turn
access denied
nothing but lies
it's been this way since birth
and how can I know my own worth
when they lie about the prices paid
from all the sacrifices made
check the history books 
there are lies about how history looks
because really it's a history of crooks
yet they're not referred to as crooks
they're called explorers 
and while those books still sit on our shelves
we want to fight for rights we think we have
but neglect the right to think for ourselves
we scream for justice
thinking it's just us 
but we know the media hides the truth well
so how can we dislike what we're being told
then be okay with being controlled
find the truth
we better hope the truth finds us

© 2014

Coming Or Going

I was told it would be worth the wait
so I was expecting a pearly gate
but it wasn't what I thought it would be
maybe God didn't remember me
still I wanted to see it for myself
I just never imagined I would be by myself
now I have no way of knowing 
if I'm truly coming or going
and although I'm not at all afraid to fall 
but if I do fall 
I just hope I land on a cloud
because I remember once being too proud
never asking anyone for help
that's why I'm grateful for every breath
for each one makes me stronger than death
that's also why I keep such a tight grip
because I knew there was I chance I might slip
I'm still not sure how I got here in the first place
or more importantly now where here is
is this where my fear lives
or where my happiness dies 
maybe this is just where my happiness cries
sounds like there's still no way of knowing
if I'm truly coming or going

© 2014

Where's My Haiku

In my opinion, 
the worst day ever is when 
your smile disappears. 

© 2014

Letter

I wrote you a letter 
but you didn't get the last one
so I'm making this the last one
what else can I say 
I prepared for this day 
please try to understand
don't take this the wrong way
I'll still be cheering 
just from the crowd
but don't think I won't be as loud
I only wish to see you prevail
what type of male would I be
if I wished you the worst 
that would bring out the worst in me
so I wrote you a letter 
I could've done a face to face
but let's face it 
the thought of facing you 
was just too hard for me to do 
please don't ask me why
I'm really trying not to cry 
so let's just keep our eyes dry
even if this is how we say goodbye

© 2014

Have A Good Night Haiku

Did someone tell you
it wasn't okay to dream?
I didn't think so.

© 2014

Since 2004 (Translated From Spanish)

I still dream about you
even after all these years
but I don't know why
I've never met you
and I have no children of my own
but still you're there
in my dreams
only in my dreams
I remember when I found this photo
and you know what
she looks like you
or at least how I imagine you
in my dreams
your eyes
that smile
and your hair
maybe I'm crazy
I dont know
but I have hope
hope in a dream
even after all these years
and I don't know why
still you're my favorite dream
even if you're just a dream

© 2014

In The Cold

I bit the hand that fed me

and look where it led me

now I'm out in the cold

I guess I was just too bold

even though I was told 

this is where I would be 

they never believed I would leave

so why did I leave 

it just didn't seem real

being told how to feel 

I tried being myself

but I was someone else

now I'm out in the cold

I may be on my own 

but I'm not alone

there are others

my new sisters

my new brothers 

like me they've weathered the storm 

they're just looking for some place warm

so not only will we survive in the cold

but we'll thrive in the cold 

because I guess we're just too bold

either that or we're still hungry

© 2014

At [INNER]Peace

I admit that I live with regret
but it hasn't destroyed me yet
and it won't 
still it's hard to forget
that I messed up the chance
to dance
when all I wanted to do was dance
but I'm thankful that found peace
so I'm at peace
and I still have a ways to go
but now that I know which way to go
and which ways to grow
mentally 
spiritually 
and physically 
it's much easier to let things go
and let it flow
but if I find myself beginning to panic
or becoming frantic
I don't cry
because my energy's at an all time high
so no more wasting my tears on fear
like I've done over the years
I rather live in peace while I'm here

© 2014

Little Lies (Dark Eyes)

What you don't know
won't hurt you
but what about me
don't worry about me
that's why I tell you that I'm fine
so you don't worry about me
but I'm lying
just a little bit
I mean I'm flying 
just not as high I said I was
why
because
I say it's my stress level
or maybe it's the Devil
call it what you wish 
I just wish it wouldn't keep me up at night
my mind wanders
as I ponder what's happened to me
and why it's happening to me 
most days I wake up
and thank God for makeup
but the eyes never lie 
the darkness is still there
I don't care anyway
at the end of the day
I give my loved ones a kiss
and tell them I got this
because I wouldn't lie about that

© 2014

Speaking Of Love

What is this love you speak of

either we share a different definition

or I'm not paying attention

I mean listen 

while it's an honor to mention
the one you love
treating them like honorable mention
wouldn't be the wisest decision 
unless that's the love you envision

that's probably not the love they had in mind
so I'm sure they mind how you treat them
it's such a shame
hearing you call them out their name
claiming they're to blame 
when really you're to blame
blaming them is really lame by the way
what happened to you
remember the poems each day
the encouraging words you would say
now every word is a curse
and your poems are even worse
so what is this love you speak of 
speak up
before you lose the one you love

© 2014

Complicated

Maybe I was just too complicated
why else would I've contemplated 
the idea of being together
then trying to figure out how to get her
whereas before 
I had her
or at least I had the opportunity 
I talked about the need for more unity
and could've helped build a union
but maybe I was just too complicated
why else would God have confiscated
my blessing that day
by taking away those lips
that took my breath away 
leaving me with nothing to say
only the sound of my knees
as they hit the ground
screaming please
come back 
I may have been faithful 
but in fact had I kept my faith full
and my feet firmly planted
I wouldn't have taken her for granted
so what's complicated about that

© 2014

Hold The Crown

Born to be a king
made to sit on the throne
just hoping I don't have to sit here alone
but for now I'll hold it down
I'm unaware 
of how much pain I can bare
so why is it this hard to hold the crown
I shouldn't act this way
stressing over the same things each day
then I wake up in mourning 
instead of waking up every morning
excited for what each day brings
thy kingdom come
thy will be done
which means I've already won
as long as I stay faithful
and remain humble 
or else watch my kingdom crumble
I can't worry if everything I do is unseen
and I know that every king needs a queen
but for now I'll hold it down
I was born on purpose
so I must stay focused on the purpose
even if it gets harder to hold the crown 

© 2014

Blank Stairs

It's said that what goes up

must come down

but I don't see anything 

doesn't that concern you 
it should

is that why your lip quivers 

did your thoughts betray you

perhaps it was fear

were you afraid to think 

maybe even afraid to feel 

no that's not it

I know what it is

you're biting your lip aren't you

and probably holding your tongue

it's not so much what goes up

must come down

but what if what went in

may decide to come out 

now I'm intrigued

what could you be hiding up there
whatever it is 

I encourage you to let it out
and soon

before it finds a way out on its own

© 2014

L.O.V.E. Notes: Alone Time

When you find yourself
by yourself
use that time to gather yourself
and remember one thing
what's done is done
but you've only just begun
don't worry about living up to the hype
because only losers give up
and you don't look like the type 
whatever it was 
own it 
but only dwell on it for a moment 
because what happens next
is everything

<3

© 2014

Stories From The Inside

I've never been behind bars

but in this world of ours 

there's more than one kind of prison

but those with a limited vision don't see that

and see that's what angers me

they believe they're helping still

so they get their thrills from prescribing pills

never mind me waking up at 3am with the chills

feeling like I'm coming off a high

wondering why I can't get enough rest

heart ready to burst through my chest 

because what's now causing my anxiety 

has nothing to do with society 

and everything to do with the drugs inside of me

but talk like that doesn't get you commended

it gets you committed

fitted with an outfit where the buckles fasten in the back

and where they take away your afternoon snack

replacing it with a sedative

making the rest of your stay there seem repetitive 

because they rather watch your condition worsen
than help make you a better person
but you're already a better person 
you just have to feel better 

© 2014