Ode to Shannon

When you've felt like a ghost

for as long as I have

you forget what it's like to be seen

or what it's like to live in a world

reminiscent of Old Hollywood

where nothing is transparent

and everyone appears content

with being glamoured

by headlines and tragedies

oh how I've yearned to find

a place with no name 

where I can start over 

rather than looking for a place

to bury all of these skeletons

who do they even belong to

I guess I'm still waiting for the 

universe to give me a sign

or maybe twenty-seven of them

just in case I miss one

here I thought my teens would

be the awkward years

it's definitely right now

kissing strangers doesn't seem

bad at all compared to

what I put myself through mentally

I'm feeling less like a ghost

and more like a lady on a wire

just trying to find balance

© 2022

Understood

You were right

but I know 

it wasn't about that

the point is 

where's the man 

you trusted 

to be your strength

when you need it

the man with purpose

maybe I was too

blind to notice

how vulnerable I was

I never saw it

as a weakness

but looking back

how many times

did I put others first

their feelings

only for my feelings

and my fighting spirit 

to be crushed

under the weight

of their decision

to leave me behind

you warned me

but you know me

I love hard

and when I fall 

I fall harder

so now what

now I get back up

there's still time

© 2022

En Viento

Oportunidades

has tenido muchas

pero en serio

no eran auténticos

esperanza falsa

te dijiste a ti mismo

no te rindas

tu tiempo llegará

pero algunas veces

tienes que ser honesto

con ti mismo

incluso si duele

sabías mejor

mucho humo

demasiados espejos

la ilusión gana

y sigue ganando

a menos que

te conviertas en viento

y empieces a ver

con claridad

© 2022

L.O.V.E. Notes: V

There are no

victims here

only choices

and sometimes

consequences

regrets 

excuses 

blame

come with making

the wrong choices  

it happens

often

but still

no victims here

maybe an idiot

or two

and now

the challenge

moving on

it's hard

but find a way 

if you cannot

you'll never be

victorious

© 2022

L.O.V.E. Notes: Heavy Heart

Grandmother

my best friend

please forgive me

as the keeper

of our memories 

I couldn't allow that

to be our last one

you raised me 

and when you were

taken from your home

I felt powerless

when the pandemic came

everything changed

I wasn't allowed to visit

and my face became 

unrecognizable 

I guess we both

began to fade away

shortly thereafter 

you would barely eat

and you were in pain

even though you didn't 

understand why

because your heart

and faith were strong

you taught me strength

but I just feel sadness

don't be disappointed in me

please watch over me

and forgive me

for wanting to keep

the memories I have

<3

© 2022

Variant

There was a moment

sitting in that room

laying in the bed

finding it hard to breathe

I was terrified 

Covid-19

what was it doing

to my lungs

and why does it

feel like a boulder 

sitting on my chest

that's when I thought 

about those who've 

passed away

loved ones

not just from Covid

my last memories of them

words unspoken

promises unkept

feelings hurt

but what are hurt feelings

to a broken heart

so all I can do is 

look to the sky 

speak those words

and hope they hear me

until we meet again

I can still breathe

so I must be better

even if there's a chance

things get worse

and since I don't know

how much damage

Covid has done

every breath counts

more than ever before

© 2022

L.O.V.E. Notes: Salida y Puesta

Gracias por el sol
pero hace mucho calor
a veces insoportable
mi cabeza duele
y no puedo respirar
muy bien
tal vez no merezco
la energía
sin embargo
aquí estoy
muy agradecido
porque todavía
la luz brilla
en mi dirección
incluso cuando
la oscuridad
se hace cargo

<3

© 2022