L.O.V.E. Notes: Memento

I remember getting lost in your eyes
finding my way to your lips
crossing paths with your neck
in an attempt to steal your heart
only I didn't have to steal it
it was given to me
and I didn't take good care of it 
so I gave it back
thinking it was mine to give away
I couldn't have been more wrong
now it belongs to another
I'll always feel connected
but I know it's in better hands
and all I'm left with are memories 
the memories of getting lost in your eyes
finding my way to your lips
crossing paths with your neck
in an attempt to steal your heart
there will never be another like it
so make sure to keep it away from me

<3

© 2017

Last Ride

I feel like an old addict
back on the road to recovery 
only the landscape has changed a bit
the road doesn't look the same 
previously I took every sign I saw as a sign
to detour around anything that made sense
so now I've chosen to pull over to the side
hoping to collect my thoughts
wondering if this is where the rest stop
and the dead end
it's not that I lack direction really
maybe I just shouldn't think negatively
not if I stand any chance at all 
because this time isn't like the last time
or the time before that
I don't want to come off as paranoid
but I think this may be my last ride
meaning it's my last chance to get it right
before there's nothing left of me
the engine's still running
so as long as I'm behind the wheel
I have what it takes to make it there
that's why it's called drive
and that's how I'll reach my destination

© 2017

Forever Asking

Am I good enough

that always seems to be the question 

even though I've answered it already 

but it's a question I only ask myself 

no one would dare ask me that 

or tell me that I'm not good enough 

so then why do I dare to ask 

or continue to bring it up 

maybe I don't believe my answer 

at least not as often as I should 

I've always been my harshest critic

any time anyone says anything to me 

I have to say it back to myself 

while making it sound twice as bad

I let it consume me mentally 

draining me of all my energy

if I'm always thinking the worst

how can I expect to be my best 

my mindset must be everything 
that I believe myself to be 
so I must keep believing in myself
for my light to shine completely 
but if I don't feel truly good enough
I'll always find comfort in the shadows

© 2017

No More

This sounds like a broken record

instead of our favorite song on repeat

we're supposed to make each other better

but how can we do that

when we spend so much time apologizing

letting our imperfections speak for us

rather than letting our effort tell the story

of how we were once fighters

now we're more discouraged than anything
trying our hardest not to be in the way
all while walking on eggshells

but we cannot give up hope
we cannot stop trying to grow together
no more than we can as individuals

that's what's going to make us better
we also need more conversations like this
so we can learn to communicate effectively
otherwise we'll keep acting how we act
which will create even more arguments
that could actually be avoided
if we acknowledge our differences
but learn from them accordingly 
so let's stop apologizing to one another 
and make the world sorry for doubting us

© 2017

Dear Self

What can I possibly tell you

that you don't already know

or haven't already seen before
although you haven't seen everything
you've definitely seen enough
maybe I should've prepared you
I could've said something
anything to warn you of what was coming

but I guess it's too late now 

it's hard to say much of anything 

with everything you've been through

you had to learn the harsh realities 
like how everyone has their own truth 
or how some facts are now fake news
how about people wearing multiple masks
to disguise their hatred for you
and their ignorance of what's going on
with God loving words of encouragement
but despite all of the negativity  
you've managed to remain positive
even finding like-minded people 
who share your purpose of helping others
and that inspires me to keep doing this
it inspires me to keep being you

© 2017

Hiatus

They always ask where you are
it's a common mistake people make
asking without thinking to look for you
maybe it wouldn't matter much anyway
because even in plain sight
they still can't seem to find you
which kind of makes you wonder
do they really know where to look
or are they just looking for information
where you are is obvious
but the real question is why
why do you keep going back there
are you trying to hide
that's what they believe you're doing
hiding from the world 
you've certainly done it before
it's safe to assume you would again
just not this time
so why go back to the darkness
because darkness makes light visible
and sometimes you need to know
how bright you shine in the darkness
before stepping back into the light

© 2017

Starseed

I just want to fit in
but how can I fit in
I'm a supreme being
neither man nor woman
comprised of light
born from the universe
look at how people treat me
they call me crazy
but I'm not crazy
I have abilities
and I don't deny them
like others do
I embrace them
to better myself
still people call me crazy
but I'm not crazy
I'm a supreme being
neither man nor woman
comprised of light
born from the universe
I've never fit in down here
but this is still my home
and my home needs healers
so I'm here to help heal

© 2017