Abandoned

Do you think less of me

or blame me for not being around

when you needed me the most
I wouldn't blame you if you did

but please don't think that I loved you

any less than I do right now

I know I said I would protect you

would you believe me if I told you

I thought I did the right thing at the time

not knowing what would happen

and even though that was true
I was too caught up in my own grief
to feel that something wasn't right

I just wanted you to get the chance I never got

so I felt like I couldn't speak up 

and because of my silence 

I take responsibility for not protecting you

for the trauma you've experienced

and for you having to deal with the pain
the only way you know how
I should've been there for you
but I'm here for you now
so please don't think I abandoned you
it was a struggle not to abandon myself 

© 2019