L.O.V.E. Notes: Sombras II

Las sombras
en un punto
fueron mi favorito
lugar de esconder
hasta encontré
mi razón de vivir
un razón de continuar
ya no quiero esconder
pero las sombras
me aceptan
todo lo que soy
me aceptan
sin critica

el mundo no hace eso
ni la gente también 
gracias a las sombras
no me siento vergüenza
en su presencia
pero ahora
mi luz debe tomar control
como lo hizo antes

<3

© 2019

Todo Lo Que Quería

Yo sólo quería ser una mártir
porque en mi mente 
una mártir es un héroe
pero cómo me puedo llamar una mártir
si me sacrifiqué por nada
una mártir actúa con justicia 
luchando por lo que es justo
una mártir muere por sus creencias 
sin comprometer su posición
yo debería haber más fuerte
pero no podría esconder mi temor
acepté las consecuencias 
y con cada día que pasa 
pensé en todo lo que he perdido
todas las oportunidades 
los amigos íntimos 
una potencial pareja
por no mencionar
la confianza en mi mismo
asi que a dónde voy de aquí
porque ya no quiero ser una mártir
me siento como una víctima 
una víctima de mis propias acciones 
sólo quería ser yo mismo
pero ahora sólo me siento cansada 
e insegura de me puedo levantar 

© 2019

L.O.V.E. Notes: How You Feel

Where does it come from
the feeling of not being good enough
maybe it was programmed 
into your subconscious at an early age
based on our societal views of one another
or our history as written by the winners
just so that you identify as inferior 
maybe it's self-inflicted 
that's not so hard to believe
because when you've been rejected by
those you thought would never reject you
and getting treated as if you don't matter
it takes its toll on you
especially at a young age
then as you get older
you start to believe in 
what your thoughts have been telling you
it's as easy as breathing 
yet suffocating at the same time
that's why you don't mind
when you feel nothing at all
but feeling lets you know you're still alive
so if you feel like you're not good enough
just know that you're more than enough
because you're still here
and you have so much more to do

<3

© 2019

Lessons

Don't ever expect 
to be respected
by someone you respect
those are your expectations
and they'll disappoint you in the end
but if you do feel disrespected
don't let it change who you are
your abuelita used to say
a star is still a star
even if the clouds get in the way
she would also say
the same people
who say God bless
and wish you much success
can also wish you death
in the same breath
so you must be very aware
of who you share your air
and your energy with 
just trust your gut
and know when to speak up
if you do keep your mouth shut
don't do it for too long 
or you'll become part of what's wrong
and lose sight of what's right
lessons are like people
not one of them are the same
but if you don't learn from them
you'll have no one to blame
but yourself

© 2019

L.O.V.E. Notes: Abuelos

When did I first learn about Love
from my grandparents
seeing my grandfather stop
on the side of the road
even after his shift was over
to help a stranger with car trouble
because it felt right for him to do
and he enjoyed working on cars
watching my grandmother
get up early in the morning
to bake cakes for people
she had never met before
only to turn down the amount of
money they wanted to give her
because she hoped that somehow
the energy she put into those cakes
would help those who ate them
they always gave the those with less
all while helping one another
become something much greater
there were no stuffed teddy bears
or boxes of chocolates 
not even a dozen roses 
there were hugs & kisses
fresh fruit on the table everyday 
and flowers from the garden
that's Love in its purest form
maybe I'm just too old-fashioned

<3

© 2019

All Of Us

Some of us didn't make it

I'd hoped we all would 

but I know there are times when 

your demons get the better of you

and you see only one way out

one way to end the pain

all while being judged by those

who never understood your struggle

but for those of us who remain 

we must continue fighting

giving ourselves every opportunity

to be who we were meant to be

and if we can help anyone along the way

even if it's just a conversation

that could make all the difference

in the world to someone

who feels like the world

is crumbling beneath their feet

this is how we should honor those

who are no longer with us

by helping those who are
it's not about ego
or taking credit for saving people
it's about helping those people
save themselves
because they may not realize 
what happened wasn't their fault
and they deserve to be here

© 2019

The Difference Makers

So many of you are still searching
for your place in the world
but when you look at what's going on
it's much more appealing to
find another place all together
because how do you fit
in a place that doesn't appreciate
everyone it already has
will you even be noticed at all
or will you also be rejected
and treated unfairly 
just for being who you are
but when you really think about it
you shouldn't be too concerned
because that's how you've always felt
rejected by the ones you respect
mistreated by the ones you love
unappreciated by everyone else
so if those feelings haven't changed 
you shouldn't concern yourselves with 
the opinions of others 
because we all have a place 
your efforts won't go unnoticed 
even if the world won't acknowledge them

© 2019