Social Distancing

Whether it's positive or negative

everyone seems to have an opinion 

on what's going on right now

we've all heard the noise

but while it's in me to be positive

I can't deny being a little discouraged

by all the negativity I'm hearing

so if I tell you that I'm sick

keep that same negative energy 

you had before you found out

because I don't want to be your reason 

for caring about everyone else

and everything that's going on 

don't delete those negative comments

you've made on social media

just because I can hardly breathe

and wake up with a fever every day

you said it wasn't that serious

because we've been through worse

so don't answer my messages now

when you've been ignoring them forever

I know I sound like someone's bitter ex

but I'm just scared more than anything

depression hides it well though

some people have died from this

and even though I've died before

that was before I wanted to live

when I welcomed the negativity

but I'm not that person anymore 

so if I tell you that I'm sick

I'll be keeping the same energy also

by staying far away from you 

© 2020

No Hiding

It's obvious that you're hurting
you may have been able to hide
under the strobe lights 
in a crowd of people at the club
but all the clubs are closed
there's nobody around
and there are no strobe lights
there is only your light
peeking through the darkness
starving for attention
but you continue to ignore it
just like you've ignored the pain
not just the pain you've caused
but the pain you carry
I've been down this road 
that's why it's so obvious to me
you flood your social media
with positive affirmations
and relationship advice
then in the next breath
you're pandering to your followers
making light of your struggles
I did the same thing years ago
until I made a decision to grow
a decision for a healthier life
that's what I'm hoping for you
do you even want that for yourself
because you can't hide anymore
even when the club reopens 
the strobe lights come back on
and the crowds of people return
there's still no hiding from yourself

© 2020

Illness All Around

Make no mistake about it
depression is real
anxiety is real
panic is more real 
than it's ever been before
some of us feel everything
at the same time
whether it's business as usual
or whether the world is in chaos 
like it seems to be right now
I've never been shy about
my struggles with mental health
and I've never apologized for it
so whatever way you feel 
it's okay to feel that way
don't apologize for overreacting
trust yourself to know
when something feels off
if everyone else seems calm
that doesn't mean they were right
because it's not about them
it's about you figuring out
how to take the power away
from what's making you sick
because you need your strength
and I believe in your strength
so if one day you do find yourself 
uncharacteristically calm
maybe there's a possibility
things will get better over time
but stay inside until then
and keep working on yourself

© 2020

Extraterrestrial

Out of This World

Starseed

Miss Universe

Ode to The Celestial Being

any of those poems

could've been about you

we have that in common

no matter how happy 

we've been in our lives

there are those moments 

where we feel detached 

our expressions give it away

maybe that's what attracted

us to one another years ago
you've since found 
happiness all over again

I've chosen to remain distant

the appropriate behavior 
for an extraterrestrial 

but I still feel that same energy

from you that I feel inside

this vessel of a body

it's an energy unlike any other

created by the universe
powered by the stars
from worlds yet discovered
in all its celestial beauty
we'll never feel complete
but I hope you always feel loved
maybe we'll meet again
if we're ever called to return 
to wherever it is we came from

© 2020

Feels Like

None of this seems real

but I refuse to be in denial 

like so many others

as crazy as it sounds

recovery prepared me for this

create a safe environment

keep in contact with loved ones

limit interactions with those

who are unhealthy for you

these are things I was told

and I'm also an introvert

so this should be easy for me

but it's not the same

my safe environment feels

like I'm trapped inside a cell

minus the padded walls

loved ones are back to 

receiving text messages with an 

occasional phone call

I guess no hugs for now

and those who are unhealthy

they're hard to identify now

so I just remain in my cell

none of this seems real

but it seems all too familiar

the only difference is 

I no longer have the choice

a choice I took for granted 

recovery didn't really prepare me

perhaps depression did

© 2020

Enough

I understand the confusion
the fact that I never said 
anything before probably
came off weak on my part
how could I've allowed myself
to be disrespected for so long
mistaking my anxiety for fear
likely played a major role
and growing up in an abusive 
environment while being made
to feel like I wasn't good enough
didn't help matters any
seeing as how I still struggle
but things are different now
at least I'm working on it
meaning I'm not going to argue 
or waste my energy on those 
who choose to disrespect me
if I choose to speak my peace 
that'll be the last time 
and it'll be done respectfully 
because I'll never let one's 
actions change who I am
that doesn't mean it doesn't 
bother me when it happens
I'm still dealing with a lot
maybe the disrespect is minor
but I say enough is enough

© 2020

Empath Struggles

I used to be so offended 
seeing people pretend 
to be full of positive energy 
knowing that for years
I was often accused 
of being disingenuous
being called a phony
while they were accepted 
some things never change 
they say actions speak 
louder than words
but for someone like me 
energy speaks the loudest
I've always known 
even before I met them 
or heard them speak 
I knew right away
just from looking at a photo 
believe it or not 
and I still gave them the 
benefit of the doubt
I know people are capable of 
more than what they show 
but when they show you 
who they truly are 
it may take more than 
your eyes to really see them
calling them out is useless 
why sink to their level 
just to prove a point
so I'll just keep being myself
it's different when it's real

© 2020