Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Gratitude

I remember being mocked
for trying to rebuild 
being made to feel bad
for trying to heal
only to end up feeling worse
than when I started 
running on autopilot 
ignoring the pain
how naïve I was to think 
that I was actually okay
but I never healed 
when my brother was killed
the only thing I built 
were walls to keep me away
from anyone claiming 
to be friends
or offering friendship
I didn't trust a soul
and I could no longer ignore 
everything I was feeling
that feels like a lifetime ago 
but sometimes I wonder 
if I'm still on autopilot 
never having fully healed 
watching every opportunity
slip away faster than the next
that feeling of failure
I do remember being mocked
but now there's no one around
except the ones who 
still believe in me
thank you for that

© 2021



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