Allure

How did this happen 

when did we get so caught up 

in being someone's number one

that we forget to put ourselves first
we're so enamored with the allure

of being by someone's side

that we fail to take advantage 

of the time we have to ourselves 

not saying there's anything wrong 

with being by someone's side 
and having that support
from someone who loves you
but there's still nobody else
that can live your life for you
so if you ever find yourself alone
ask yourself this question
what am I doing with my time 
because I can't grow as a person
if I'm always complaining about
not being by someone's side
or not being their number one
just be your own number one
because when you put yourself first 
no one else matters

© 2018

Underappreciated

Why do we wait

until someone dies

to admire their life

it's one of many things

we take for granted

and when someone dies

they receive roses

society's number one 
go-to gift for all things 

but the truth is

roses are a lot like life

neither are as appreciated

as they should be 

until death comes along

stopping to smell a rose

is as uncommon as

a conversation 

between two people

face to face 

so we cannot wait

until someone dies 

to appreciate their life

and give them roses
that they'll never see

© 2018

L.O.V.E. Notes: Breaking Point

You are not bound

by the limitations of others

nor are you bound

by their expectations

so never mind that box

they try to put you in

or that label 

they try to put on you

in order to justify 

why they feel 

you are they way you are

or how they feel

you are not deserving 

when you clearly are

their perception 

can never be your reality

nor can their lack of drive

determine your destination

their failures are not yours

neither are those chains

<3

© 2018

Ella

Ella dice
no quiere el amor
porque el amor existe
sólo en sus sueños
nunca en la vida real
es como una fantasía
donde todo es perfecto
o un truco de magia 
donde todo parece bello 
a primera vista
pero ella no cree en magia
ni en la fantasía
el amor es una ilusión
si elegimos creerlo
es nuestra culpa
tanta angustia
y no vale la pena 
nadie vale la pena
según ella
quizás tenga razón
con su corazón
ya sintiéndose frío
de la última vez
ella no quiere el amor

© 2018

On Second Thought

What if I relapse right now 

and refill the prescription 

the doctor prescribed me

just to numb the feelings

from reemerging suicidal thoughts

that cause me to have panic attacks 

associated with depression

would you judge me like the rest

criticize me for being weak
or would you have my back 
as I battle my demons once again

nobody's perfect

we're only human

that's what everyone keeps saying

all I keep hearing are opinions 

from imperfect people 

that claim will support you 

but downplay their imperfections 

while condemning you

for how imperfect you really are

so that makes me wonder

how people would react if...

maybe I shouldn't focus on that

because that's usually how it starts

© 2018

Clairvoyance

Do you hate me
is there something about me
that says I can't be trusted
maybe I remind you
of someone from your past
someone you wish to forget
maybe it was my energy
how did I come across to you
when we first met
did I seem anxious
unpleasant to be around
or perhaps even a bit lost
it must have been something
how about now
do you see me smile at you
whenever I pass by 
can you feel my energy
it's no longer toxic
can you feel anything at all
maybe it's too late
and your opinion of me
will remain the same
but I do thank you for knowing
otherwise I never would have

© 2018